Solo to Duet
02 Nov 2005

I saw something for the first time today; a full rainbow as it was raining gently over the bay, just as the sun set on the other side of me. And I wouldn't have even been there if I had been traveling alone. I spent a year traveling alone, loving and hating the solitude. Traveling in a pair after years of it being just me is wonderful, yet frustrating.

I had to leave Greg in the hotel room today. I needed a break of being cooped up in a car, and then hotel room, all day. It wasn't Greg's fault at all, I simply reached my "couple time" limit. I've got a scary change coming up, a couple of them really. 1. I'm moving to Canada temporarily. 2. Then I'm permanently moving to New Zealand. The thought of leaving all of my friends behind (although two of them have moved away since May 2004) saddens me. I miss calling them up to have dinner or go to a movie... or just to talk. Finding friends isn't as easy as it seems, finding quality reliable ones that is. I finally felt as though I found a few really good ones and the thought of leaving them (or vice versa) makes me sad.

The only thing that is keeping me sane in this process is knowing that my best friend is going with me. So, same as before, I'm going across the ocean, leaving the states, only this time I won't be alone.

Here's what I'm scared of:
Everything.
*Will we like it there?
*How will I adapt to the weather? I lived in Michigan for 8 years. It was NOT easy, although I was a teenager at the time. That is hard enough.
*Economics. Will we ever sell this house of ours???
*Will Greg and I find new friends? This is a long process....
*Finding a new home/getting settled. Just the logistics of where/when/how is swirling around in my brain right now. The problem is that I can't answer ANY of these questions, not until we get there.

I am even more petrified than I was the first time. Maybe I'm just out of practice. Before I just had to depend on myself, now I feel like I'm holding some of the weight on my shoulders because it's my idea.

Advice from the traveler:
Something that I've learned time and time again (and it's hard to resist the urge): Don't travel quickly. You won't appreciate the place you are visiting and you will end up grumpy. The only thing you might gain is a backache. Enjoy and be comfortable sitting in one place, especially by yourself.